We can all get a bit judgmental at times. If we see something that is not quite inline with our own values we may start to analyze and criticize. Have you ever judged someone because they didn’t wear the proper clothes to work, school, or church for instance? Have you ever criticized the parents of the kid throwing a fit in the middle of the store? We are only human. We all do it at times but we should work to stop being judgmental because it doesn’t serve us, it brings others down, and it causes our own unhappiness.
Judging is a reflection of us. Why should it bother us, that another person wants to live their life a certain way? Why must we put others down or think less of someone? If you are happy with who you are, and comfortable in your own skin, why should it even matter? Judging is a sign of weakness and unhappiness in your own life, which brings me to my first tip to stop being judgmental.
“Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are.”
1 – Work on You
You are reading this article because you want to be a better person. Your willingness to improve is a great step to stop being judgmental. Read personal improvement books, meditate, get a life coach, get more spiritual, read articles like this, do everything you can to improve throughout your life. This will help you understand who you are, why you think the way you do, what makes you tick and more importantly where these judgments are coming from in the first place.
2 – Become Aware
Another tip to stop being judgmental is to become aware when you are doing it. Becoming aware will allow you to stop yourself, and then examine why you are judging. Ask yourself, “how am I feeling in this moment?” “Am I angry?” “Am I tired? “Am I depressed?” “Am I jealous?” Doing so will help you understand why you are judging in the first place. As you continue to work on your personal improvement (which was the first step), the reasons behind those answers will become more clear.
3 – Walk In Their Shoes
Walking in their shoes is a another great way to stop being judgmental. Try to understand the person you are judging. Not everyone has the same values and upbringing that you have. They may have faced more adversity and haven’t been as blessed as you are, but are doing the best they can. Maybe they are dressed like that because they had to spend all they had to feed their kids instead of a new outfit. Maybe they cut you off on the road because they are trying to get home to a sick kid. Consider that there may be legitimate reasons why they do what they do, instead of rushing to judgement.
4 – Get To Know Them
Take walking in their shoes to an elevated level by getting to know them if you can. Maybe they are a co-worker, a neighbor, or even a family member. Get closer to them and talk to them. Hang out with them. In many cases all of your judgments will go right out the window.
5 – Avoidance
“Birds of a feather, flock together,” right? People who constantly judge, love being in the company of others who do the same. Once you get sucked into one of these groups, it’s difficult not to gossip and judge others; you just want to fit in. Start avoiding these groups and situations. I’m not saying you have to cut these people off completely, just slowly start limiting your contact with them. Don’t have lunch with them every day. Don’t answer their judgmental texts or just change the subject if you can. Eventually they will get the message and either stop gossiping around you or leave you alone.
Judging others is something we have all done. We are only human. Now is the time, however, to try to avoid judging altogether. Use these 5 tips the next time you feel your critical mind taking over.